How to Interest and Attract Mates (Part One): Casual Confidence & Dress for Parties

An upcoming party is approaching and you’ve been strongly considering attending; A certain someone you’re interested will be there—or perhaps a few potential and ever-eligible mates are expected in the line up, only you’re not really sure what your prospects with any of them are, if at all existent. Do they even know your name? Does he/she even like you or has shown any previous signs of interest? What advantages do you have over the competition? Such questions cloud your mind as you skim through your wardrobe, indecisively. Finally getting bored of smiling at yourself in the mirror for a length of time you’d be too embarrassed to ever admit, you finally jump in the shower, taking one more step closer to the point of no return.

We’ve all seen the classic scene in the teeny movie where the ‘nerd’ or ‘dork’—in a very similar situation you’ve found yourself in—heads to the party with nothing but their wishful faith in true love, knowing all well that as the star of the movie, they’ll certainly end up with someone before the night is over. The difference between Hollywood and real life, however, is that the former tends to favor well-intentioned ‘geeks’ in order to reach a broader spectrum of the market. In real life, the good guys and girls get little to no play in youthful social circles, that is unless they’ve got a grasp on the game. In this first article, we’ll discuss an effective approach towards dressing for the party.

The key to becoming a successful mate in most social situations is confidence. For both sexes, confidence is automatically and subconsciously detected from the opposite/same sex in both one’s verbal and non-verbal expressions and communications. If you’re not sure about yourself, why should others?

Not only is important what and how one says things, but also how he/she walks, carries them self, and dresses. This is not to say that you should diligently practice walking on a catwalk and have a wardrobe lineup of top-dollar names, for that’s a matter of individual preference. Confidence dually equals originality, and what most beautiful people seek is ’something different.’

The first step to pre-outlining confidence lies in the choice of individual style, directly reflected in one’s dress decisions. Adjourn your limbs in the manner that most fits your character—that you can be your true self without being too self-conscious. It’s true that some people find their zone sporting designer clothes, but for those of us who can’t be bothered keeping up with all the latest trends, let vanity be a thin layer of minimal importance.

If anything, the last time you consider your appearance should be before you leave your room, leaving all your uncertainties back at home in front of the mirror. Some people show up to parties in nothing more than jeans and a tang top, yet still end up drawing the right attention from those they desire, while others may spend hours getting ready, yet end up doing little more than fitting into a crowd of sheep.

Spontaneous casualness is the most reliable approach for fashion assuming it’s not a fancy cocktail party. Wear something that you can walk around feeling ‘cool.’ Don’t be afraid to be creative every now and then (i.e. colored shoes, wacky hairdo, etc.) to maintain the element of surprise and keep your target(s) on their feet, but you don’t want to overdo it or be easily predictable. Just as you need to stick out, too much attention can also back fire. Spend a minimal time in front of the mirror and try not to take too many pictures of yourself with your mobile phone camera before you go. You might end up bored of your look by the time you get to the party and that will rub off on others. By not overdoing it, you want to avoid potential competition detecting your game. When there’s any obvious effort in preparation, your competition will see this and attempt to alienate your chase.

At social functions, it’s easy to separate the overly self conscious and the Casual Confident dressers. The former will nervously hold down one of a few spots, frequenting the bathroom-mirror all too often, spending more time with intrapersonal communications than interpersonal, while the later will be calm and smooth, oblivious to their appearance, enhancing their aura as they socialize with various groups and circles, sharp as a blade. Such an ‘easy going’ attitude will ultimately spark in their targets a desire to seek that beyond the exterior of clothing.

For further related reading, also see these pages:

http://www.infoplease.com/spot/colors1.html

http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1745285

http://www.realsimple.com/realsimple/package/0,21861,1841017-1835374,00.html

http://www.ehow.com/how_1454_dress-cocktail-party.html

In the next part, we’ll discuss further strategies to attraction and targeting mates at the party. Stay tuned…

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